There is no correct answer for child raising.

Since I came back to WIXAS, I have been feeling that I’m always pushed for time and I can’t relax.
In reality, It is not that bad but I can't help feeling like that.

A week has passed and I’m getting more and more tired as it goes.

Everyday, I have to wake up at at least 6 AM before kids get awake.
Otherwise, I can't do my routine for my husband and me, such as making Obento, getting ready for Hoikuen, holding laundries, doing dishes, etc...
Sometimes kids wake up early in the morning before these things are done.
I think 'Oh my god~~' in my mind.

After my husband leaves for work, I try to finish all the houseworks, then take my daughters to their Hoikuens.
It is normally about 9 AM when I drop off second daughter at the Hoikuen.
I then, finally have a short break before work.
I finish the work at 4 PM and rush to pick kids up.
In the evening, time flies again and it becomes 8 PM so fast after dinner and bathing.
I get so tired but my mind is filled with what I do tomorrow. I just want to rest as long as possible.
I often leave things undone until next morning even though there are plenty of my duties.
Luckily, my husband does dishes everyday. So I leave him in the kitchen and say 'Good night'. And daughters and I go to bedroom.
Of course, they do not sleep soon.
I always read books for first daughter. That is our routine.
She wants more play with me but I just want to sleep especially during the mid week, that is all.
I feel sorry for her.

The other day, after reading a couple of books, I turned off the light and we started to sleep.
Then she said,' I want to go to toilet.'
To be honest, I was irritated. It is too cold to go to the toilet at night in the middle of the winter.But I had no choice, I took her to the toilet.

In the toilet, she said, 'I don't want to pee.'
I thought, 'Hah??' but calmly, 'OK, then go back to the bedroom.
'After a few minutes, she said, 'Mum, I want to go to toilet again.'
I thought, 'Huh, again??' but said, 'OK.'
In the toilet, she wanted to play with a toilet paper and did not pee. 
I understand that now she is in the toilet training.
She is almost perfect to pee in the toilet of the Hoikuen but sometimes she misses it. At the end, she went to the toilet 5 times and did not pee. My anger reached the max.Finally I said, 'Even if you go to the toilet, you don't pee. I am tired.'
She said and cried, 'I GO!! Mum, I go to the toilet if I want to go, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?'

I thought I was noticed by her. I felt regret myself for having bad feeling at her.

She just practiced to pee...I felt self-hate that night.

Next morning, I hugged her and said to her, 'I am sorry last night, I was so tired.'

She said, 'Yes,,,'.
I thought myself I should treat her well even if I am busy for second daughter. 

I talked about this story to my friend and she said,
'Oh, you don't have to say sorry!! Your daughter needs to learn mum's situation.
If you always feel sorry for her and treat her too kindly, she will be selfish.
Now she is 3. 3 year old kids understand things more than you expect.'

I was convinced.

There is no correct answer for child raising...